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Originally Posted by chaos
What happens when you do only your own laundry and dishes? I know that's so hard to do, leave all those messy dishes, but will they react at all? Have you talked to each of them about this? It's probably pointless.
What does your BF do for work? It sounds like he's not working, if not, why?
Don't feel bad about not wanting kids. There are a lot of people out there that'll give you grief over that. If I didn't have one already, I'd be in the same boat. My brother and sis-in-law are DINKs and I love to see their freedom! I have 7 more years ha ha. I love my daughter more than anything, but I'm not good at sharing and an introvert. I never ever get a day alone anymore. There are more then enough kids out there!!!
I have a huge issue with my DH supporting me, and he's a SAHD. In the last couple months he's gotten so much better at helping out, it wasn't until he could actually SEE something that made him help. Maybe it was me not being able to cook or me accidentally cutting a plant vine. Me being forced to cut back made him help.
But your partner and his mom do see things happening to you. They know you have mobility issues. What happens if it got worse? What happens if you have the flu, do they help then? Or do you get sandwiches and cereal like I've gotten? Do they have chore lists? Can you write something out? Or can they pay for help to clean the kitchen and hard stuff? You shouldn't have to do it alone.
If you BF is like this now, he's going to be like this later. Don't expect it to change. I should have realized it myself the first time I walked into DH's house when we met and he had a week's worth of dishes on the counter.
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I feel like it will never change either.. and I don't want him to change who he is. So it makes me really wonder if we are meant to be.
I've thought about making a chore list, but since I am living in someone else's house I feel it would be super improper of me.
He gets upset when I clean. He says it's taking time away from our future and that its gonna get messy again. WELL DUH! its called being an adult and having responsibilities. His mother is the reason for his laziness. He's never had to even wash a cup in his life. She's always payed his way through life.
He quit his job in February. and yes, does not work. Which drives me nuts. I WANT TO BE WORKING but I can't... he is fully able, but doesn't.
He doesn't have to pay bills or anything.
On my 21st Birthday, right before MS came into my life.. I had figured my finances and would be able to be out on my own with school in my schedule by the time I turned 22.
I turn 26 in a month.
We get along well. Never fight. But maybe that's because I keep my mouth shut with the issues.
This is FAR FROM the life that I wanted.
I think, whenever he wakes up, that I will have a very long, serious, adult conversation with him about this matter.
I'm pretty sure 98% of women would NEVER put up with this crap.