Your post brought tears to my eyes. I still grieve over the loss of my mother and best friend and it has been several years. NO words will erase your pain. Just know that you are NOT alone. People do care about what you are going through. I was so angry that everyone else went on with their life after my mother died and I could not. I felt like MY life was over the moment she died. How dare people resume their lives, I thought. Didn't my Mom's life mean more than that to others? How could they grieve for the moment and then move on? Why wasn't every one that knew and loved her not stuck in grief as I was (and still am). It took a long time for me to get over the anger.

I know that you did not get to hear a response from your Mom when you expressed your love for her but I promise you, SHE knew it. You said she was your best friend. Being your mother and your best friend, she definitely knew how much you loved her. Mom's know. The only advice I can offer...... and it is what I do and sometimes it works....... I think about what my Mom would want.... Would she want me to be sad the rest of my life? Only when I think of that do I feel that it is no honor to her to stop liviing my life. She would not want that for me. It has taken me many years to realize that and I still grieve and probably will for the rest of my life but I do now know that she would not be happy to see me sad. It has not been very long since you lost her so give yourself some time to heal. You will never stop missing her and loving her but the pain will get better.