I taught my 4 kids to do their own laundry when they entered high school. Every child had a chore to do in the house (they ALL hated poop patrol in the yard). I wanted each child (especially my 3 boys) to be able to care for themselves when they left the nest.

We teach what we expect from others; I expected a lot from the kids (not so much from DH, but he's the repairman of the house and we never call one in-he does all of the remodeling, etc.-so I didn't demand much from him in terms of cleaning). He helps out more now, especially since I'm having so much trouble with my legs and pain levels. But he still has a tendency to walk away from the dinner table and go sit in front of the TV. If I ask he'll jump up right away and help, but I don't. See, I get what I expect...

You are heightening your stress levels by swallowing your anger and resentment-and stress increases your symptoms. I would have a very honest conversation with him. Not to paint yourself as a victim, but that you expect help. Plain and simple. It is obvious that he comes from a family that doesn't put a premium on cleanliness and order in the house. Not a judgement, just an observation. I came from that kind of household, and for many years I was Kathy Kitchen, with a spotless house-and kids parked in front of the TV My priorities were upside down....should have done more with them...

And if you have any doubts at all about your future with him, you need to have a plan for YOUR future without him. You need to take care of yourself too...

No match is made in Heaven, IMO...you both need to find out what is important to each of you in life, and acknowledge whether or not you can work it out...

Keep us informed, and you are not in anyway to apologize for examining your feelings and situation with your virtual friends here at NT-that's what it's all about-we all get it here...