 |
Junior Member
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Elko, NV
Posts: 21
|
|
|
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Elko, NV
Posts: 21
|
I am so sorry for your heartbreak. I can imagine how you feel. I had a senior son headed for a full ride to MIT and suddenly that son was taken away by a severe TBI. The doctors had little hope for him and advised us to let him go or else he would only be a vegetable the rest of his life.
Long story short we are now emerging into his second year of recovery: The good: he still has his sense of humor, he can still remember math, some Spanish and German. He can tell me he loves me. He can't walk yet, but getting closer. He can get up, take a shower, get dressed, and make his own simple breakfast all by himself.
The bad: he can't remember anything for more than 5 minutes, he keeps blacking out and no one can determine why, He can't be left alone. He is incontinent.
I get it.
A friend of my gave me this advice: "Mourn for the loss, but not too long because your child will pickup on your mourning and will begin to feel like they are not worthy of being loved.
He is now different but embrace the difference just as you would when meeting a new friend or grandchild or a new sibling.
Different is only as bad as you make it."
This advice has kept me sane. BUT it is easier said then done. Mourn your loss, but rejoice in their life. Hope this doesn't sound to preachy or anything. I just know the pain and heartbreak I have gone through and many people posting here have help alleviate the pain. I am hoping to return the favor somehow.: hug:
__________________
September 16, 2011 my son collapsed on the football field due to a subdural hematoma. He was life flighted to the hospital where they did emergency surgery. At first the DR said that he thought everything would be fine. Then his brain started swelling three days later, he had midline shift to the right side cavity and then the brain herniated onto the brain stem. They did not think he would make it. They stabilized until family could come. After family got there, he began to stabilize. We were counseled to "let him go" because the brain damage would be extensive. We chose life. He was in a coma for 48 days and then a vegetative state for another 58 days. He was considered semi-conscious Jan. 5, 2012. It is now July 2013. He has no short term memory, still is now walking with a walker, and has issues with expressive language, and is incontinent.
.
|