Hi everyone, this is my first post here. I'm a long-term multiple TBI survivor (9 that I can remember - probably many more that I just don't recall), who had their last TBI in 2004. That one nearly wrecked me, and I'm just now coming out from under the dark cloud financial, personal, and professional distress that was the hallmark of my life for years. I have a ton of issues that are pretty invisible to the rest of the world, because I manage to get my butt out of bed each day and carry on an apparently normal life. Pull out a list of TBI symptoms, and I can check nearly every box, nearly every day.

Notwithstanding, I've got a good job, and from what people tell me, my career seems to be going well. My marriage of 23 years went through an extremely rocky spell, few years back, probably at least in part to my wife's multiple strokes in 2006, which affected her behaviorally (but she cannot perceive it). She's had some personality changes that have compounded the issues from my own personality changes after my TBI in 2004. I'm not a bad "specimen" as they say. I watch what I eat, I don't drink alcohol or smoke or take drugs aside from an Advil every now and then. I stay somewhat active, I'm 10 lbs over my ideal weight, and I still have decent strength and quickness and overall fitness. Very few people realize I'm 48 years old - most take me for being in my early 30s. I really am blessed. And I work my a-- off.

All that being said, I have been having a heck of a time with a number of worsening issues -- my memory becoming more Swiss-cheesey and losing hours of activity, less than 24 hours later... a lot of mental fogginess... trouble hearing and processing what others are saying... zero motivation about things I am usually enthusiastic about... headaches after exercise... extreme emotional lability (as in, freakishly unpredictable mood swings over stupid stuff)... tinnitis at a deafening pitch... and just generally feeling wiped out, most of my waking hours.

I'm managing pretty well, and nobody really knows this is going on with me, aside from my wife, in part (who doesn't take it well). I'm the breadwinner in my family, so if I can't function, we're both screwed.

Watching my daily patterns and observing everything, it's clear to me that the core issue is sleep. I don't get enough of it. I know that, but I can't seem to get myself in gear to do something about it at the right times. Hindsight is 20/20, so when I wake up at 6, I know that 5 hours was not enough. But when it's 1 a.m., I can't seem to get my butt in gear to go to bed. I see a neuropsych who is keen on getting people on minute doses of meds to manage issues when they run out of alternatives. He advocates carefully monitoring the effects and adjusting the dosage, but A) my assessment skills are - to put it lightly - *lousy*, especially when I am tired, and B) there is no way I am going back to the meds-adjustment roller coaster. I did that 25 years ago for another chronic health condition I had, and... never again.

I need practical strategies that I can do and control myself. I am too sensitive and too "assessment-challenged" for prescription meds. I need to take matters into my own hands.

A few years back, I made some changes to my bedroom (I sleep in my own room because I need the isolation, uninterrupted silence, and darkness). I put in light-blocking curtains, I rearranged the furniture to make it easier to move around, and I started keeping the room cool-to-cold so I can sleep better. That helped some for a while, but then other challenges came up.

The main thing seems to be me perseverating at staying up -- just getting stuck in a groove of forced wakefulness. I know I am tired, I feel tired, but I push myself to stay awake, and that's not helping.

Anybody have any strategies and tips for convincing yourself to go to bed at a decent hour? The specific hurdles I face are:

1) My wife is a night owl and she usually wants me to stay up past 10:00 so we can spend time together. It's just watching t.v., but she considers it quality time. And it's the one kind of activity we can do together without either one or both of us getting anxious and being difficult.

2) I get caught up in watching shows, and then one thing leads to another. I can't seem to get myself unhooked, after a certain point. I work hard. I like to be entertained now and then.

3) I just don't *want* to go to bed. I like the feeling of staying up late. I like how quiet it is, and how peaceful everything outside is. The everyday world and all the people activity wear me out and irritate the crap out of me, so the night time is a sweet relief.

Anybody have any suggestions for how I can change this behavior pattern? It is having real consequences on my life, and I have noticed a real "downgrade" in my functioning over the past year. I do take naps when I can, but it's not nearly enough. I need a solution for my night-time sleep difficulties.

All suggestions will be most welcome. Thanks in advance.

Be well everyone.