I was supposed to rest yesterday yesterday and I couldn't. I made cookies, steamed the carpets, made photo albums, did all this stuff that wasn't required but it was a diversion from myself. At about 3 pm I took an Ativan and watched Duck Dynasty.....love that show. It was maybe going to storm--u fortunately. I think I need to brace myself for a tumultuous couple days, or at least be prepared.

My sister and her family are staying w my mom and dad. My mom provides (sometimes erroneous) top over for my sister and her husband. So I (like a jealous girlfriend/wife) get jealous and question everything to make sure I am not being left out. Man that takes me to the place I was when I was married to my abusive husband.

Anyway my sister and her husband are starting cross country today, I have an appt w my lawyer. I. Am getting my will, living will and power of attorney all updated. I don't have time time to negotiate the obstacles to try to say goodbye. I am ok w the efforts I have made to share time and it is enough.

I am feeling weird.