Hi, I just found you guys a few weeks ago, read through some threads, posted a few comments but didn't introduce myself yet. Partly because I hate talking about me and about this. It's when I talk about what happened to me that I get very angry, I get more depressed and it drags me down, a lot. So, Ive been waiting for an opportunity where I felt a little more energy and time before I started, knowing this would take some time and self focus.

I had an injury at work, not a pretty one and nothing you'd want to brag about. I went to the restroom in the basement floor of the building I worked in (working for a Big Ten University in Lansing MI, yeah, that's a hint). One of the stalls had a lock that didn't work so I never went in there, until this day. Little did I know that the toilet also gushed water from the flushing handle, when it was flushed, and water was always pooled up around the base. Seems that most of the other women in the basement knew this and knew it for at least 6-8 weeks (according to one employee) but no one had thought it made any sense at all to report it. So I use that stall and walk out and fell flat on my face on the tile floor. Well, not exactly flat on my face, I was trying to keep my head from hitting the floor and I wear glasses, so I was actually thinking about that on the way down too, and tried to break the fall with my hands, slipping at an angle so that the greater part of my weight was on my right. My entire body was vibrating the fall was so fast and hard. I was taken to the University's clinic first, for XRays so they could do their first steps to cover their ***. And then had to go home, I was still so shaken up and still vibrating from such a jarring blow. I had just had knee surgery a few months prior and had my last appointment where I was to be released from care the following weekday.

At my orthopedist appointment I find out that I had re-injured my left knee and would have to be in a brace for another 6 weeks and because I begged, my doctor allowed me to get back into the pool, if I promised to not use my legs, no kicking, only arm pulls. I swam laps every day for about an hour and had done so for almost 25 years, so this was huge and I was excited to get back in the pool. I dash off to the pool with my new brace, jump in and can not raise my right arm to pull even once. I had torn my labrum and of the variety of tears possible I had a SLAP tear, the tear that absolutely required surgery and would never repair on it's own without that surgery. So I go in to have that surgery. The usual visitor appear bedside and the anesthesiologist comes and tells me about the surgery and that it is very painful, explaining that he doesn't want me to be terrified when I wake up. he also tells me it's a difficult recovery and that I will not be allowed to lie down for several days, would have a bolus for pain and a drain from the back. I"m not worried, Its the same doctor, same hospital and same anesthesiologist who did my left knee scope 6 months ago.

Am I in pain afterward, absolutely, but I was told this is painful surgery AND, I come from a family where, "Get up, you're not hurt." "People are dying and you're not." was the attitude and response I had gotten from my mother (a Post Op Nurse) since I was a little kid. So, I try to be the good patient and I deal with it and don't whine when I go in to see my Orthopd the next week and then I don't complain at the following visit another week later, and I don't tell him how much I noticed that the hair on my arm was growing really long and that my finger nails were growing for the first time in my life and that my arm always felt sweaty. Back then, I was put into a sling with a loaf of sandwich bread sized foam fusion between my arm and torso and I was told to not move it for one month. So then I go in to see my PT for my first visit, fortunately the same PT who worked with my and my knee, so she knew me, she sees my arm and wants to know when my next dr appointment is and then says that's not good enough. She has me call my dr and get back in there ASAP, asks me if I ever heard of RSD and starts work immediately to hopefully counter act the month of damage that has been going on, since I came out of surgery.

Honestly I must be one of the very few people who actually was correctly diagnosed and diagnosed quickly, but even though I had a great PT, I had a doctor who I now think was too hesitant in treatment. He was sweet and kind and very patient focused but he was more worried about being too aggressive. To be fair, I don;t' know what would have worked or if I even stood a chance of remission catching it so early on, I'll never know. My RSD started encompassing my full arm and hand and my right upper torso, including breast tissue. Within the first two years, as my employer accused me of worker's comp fraud, in an effort to get me to walk away and not hold them responsible, forced me to file legal action against them to clear my name and to get my benefits, my RSD began spreading. Unfortunately it was manifesting in my left arm leading up to the court hearing and I was not, at that point, about to halt the proceedings, to go through all the testing and new findings to wait for the hearing to be rescheduled, etc. I wanted it over. So as my RSD spread, I went though Worker's Compensation court, my husband and I got massively in debt, lost a vehicle and cable and everything else you can think of happening financially that can destroy you and put you in a huge bind, while he fought his employer (the feds) to get a transfer to a warmer climate, so that I could stand a chance of becoming more functional, won my case against the Big Ten U and moved to Tucson, while we watched the RSD spread to both my feet and legs, and found out how miserably horrible it is to move and find a doctor who trusts you and that you too can trust. blah, blah, blah. Its the same story everyone else tells.

So I fight Social Security as well and win if you can call it that, my RSD/CRPS is full body, I've seen so many bad doctors, a neurologist who stands there and tells my husband he sees nothing wrong with me when my rt arm is purple and massively swollen and shiny and so sensitive I can't stand to have air move around me. The specialist who threw my empty file up in the air screaming at me, because he didn't have anything in the folder, despite the fact that his wife/receptionist scheduled the appointment based on when she anticipated she would have my files in from out of state. Two doctors who put me through all the tests in office said point blank that I had RSD but refused to give me medication because they didn't know me. SO what, you can diagnose and give medication to locals but not someone you diagnose who used to live some where else?

I woke up about two years into this and had a significantly different pain, all over my body and find out that RSD "opens the door" fro there diseases, in my case Fibromyalgia. Going from being massively active, as in can't sit down, if anything needs to be done anywhere in the house or in my life, to being massively sedentary, it didn't take long before I was told you probably always had these problems but were exercising and eating right to keep them at bay, I find out I have type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Like I need something else to worry about. But reading everyone's posts here I find that I am certainly not alone, many people on this forum have greater issues to mine, though mine are bigger than I can control most days. I am furious, I am depressed and right now I am crying, something I didn't want to do.I haven;t swam a single lap close to 11 years now. I go through spurts where I am able to take a short walk and periods usually the hotter months in the SW, where I can not even manage to handle thinking about going out for a walk, much less leaving the house. My blood sugar has gone from able to be controlled to completely out of control but at least my doctor is working with me on this one. Most of my family has little or nothing to do with me, because I am chemically dependent. I can still only hold my husband's hand for barely a minute, two if I'm lucky. But that's better than not being able to tolerate touching him for nearly 8 years. I haven't worked in over 10 years which makes me furious and ****** me off more than I can say, I have caused us great financial problems, I have kept us from being able to have children, I have kept us from being able to keep or make friends, kept us from being social, kept us from traveling, from having fun from experiencing the outdoors and a lot of the indoors. I hate this disease, I hate what it does to you and I hate what it takes from you.

What do I have to share that's positive, I have not once stayed in bed, spent the day in bed and refused to get up. I have spent a lot of time, years, pushing myself. Often times too much, but ultimately I think that was a good thing. I have learned what my activity limitations are and usually do what I can to keep from over doing it. I have learned how to negotiate and manage my pain. If there is something I/we want to do, we schedule it and plan days around it so that we don't don't miss the opportunities that are the more i important ones to us. Besides refusing to spend a day in bed, I also try very, very hard to take a shower every day. Some days I can't pull it off, but I at least attempt it. I may have days when I take a nap or take two naps, but I do that only when I am unable to stay awake, not because I am in pain. I work really hard to combat the excessive dry skin and cotton mouth, I buy only clothes that are soft and don;'t add to my pain or discomfort. If I look like I"m going to steal something from the liquor store, I let the store manager follow me and waste his time and feel stupid for doing so. But I also go out of my way when I'm in public to thank people , to greet them, to chat with the cashier and tell her I hope she is having a good day and find some common ground, even if its for a moment. Besides my husband, I hardly ever have anyone to talk to. people don't want to spend time with you when you are sick and unfortunately now I've twice moved away from friends I've made, since I've been ill. I've been in Albuquerque now for a year and I know no one. the older neighbor on either side of us, just enough to say hi and that is it. This is the town that you can't trust anyone to know there is something wrong with you that requires that you take pain medication.

I found what I thought was a good pain provider and found out on my visit this week, that the place is corporation run and my doctor is gone, as is the other doctor before him. I need to find another pain specialist now. I have been given new and different meds to try since I've been here and have had a horrible time with finding what works with the new doctor that is as of this week my former doctor, I have had bad, really bad pain. Pain for weeks and months that is reminiscent of the pain I was in the first two years, when I was a zombie and couldn't hold a conversation with my husband, could barely answer simple questions. I hate Albuquerque and suspect that the altitude here is part of the problem I am having. Illegal drug use is so bad here that it affects the medical community in ways I've not experienced in Michigan or in AZ. I have been drug tested 5 times now even though I have only been seeing the specialists art this practice for 9 months. I am literally tested for PCP, among other things. Tested at a cost to Medicare of over $600 a pop and I have never misused my meds in 10 + years. I have never given a doctor a reason to even suspect I need to be drug tested and I've been tested 5 times. I have trouble even getting my regularly monthly prescription because pharmacies don't carry enough medication to meet my needs, even though they know I am a regular. NEVER had a problem getting my Rx filled in MI or in AZ.

So, I am hoping that I can continue to find good advice and common ground here. My Phys. Assistant was beginning to pressure me about having a radial sympathectomy the last couple of visits and advice from people here got me to say NO this past week. So thank you for that. And, I'll stop talking now! So thank you all for that assist and hopefully I'll be able to offer someone else the same when the time comes. Soft hugs, Sylvia