and they left my life, one by one, after my injury and the years of wicked bad chronic pain that came after that. you know how they do. it's so hard for them to understand what you're going through, why you don't show up anymore, or with a smile on your face. doesn't mean it's personal (well sometimes it is, and it always feels that way, truth be told!).

but it took decades to diagnose me and by then the husband was long gone, the girlfriends were goner, and i had lost my ability to work so no social life either. perfect isolation for the loner personality! (yeah, like the chronic pain monster doesn't separate us enough anyways as one of its ploys...) what a set up! i fell neatly into it.

i'm sure the anger, self-pity and depression i felt did nothing for my already prickly personality. (i still think the family could have been a little more understanding, but they all live in a different state, with busy lives and problems of their own, so it's not like they were here to see the day-to-day struggle or how miserable things really had gotten for me...)

but then i found braintalk, and after "the big crash" i wended my way over to the TOS forum at neurotalk eventually. the people i've met there are my friends today.

i've never had any finer.

and my wonderful daughter chelsea, who's never ever left my side.

can't forget her!

she's in the will.