I'm so sorry this has happened. I believe my mother is in your same situation. I am 24 and was just diagnosed with hemiplegic migraine. I live 2 miles from her and luckily have my fiance to care for me. I know that I've been short with her and angry, but I'm more so angry at my diagnosis. I am sure that your son does not mean to be this way toward you and I'm sorry you're not getting the support you need. Because I am in the opposite situation I can't be much help, but if you do feel like you need someone to talk to feel free to message me.
Best of luck to you and your wife as well as your son.

-Hoppi