My husband's brother recently went to visit their parents (other side of the country). After he came back, their dad admitted to my husband (probably because he thought we'd hear from his brother) that mom has "been having some memory problems" recently.

"Some memory problems" is along the lines of:

Dad calls mom from the store and asks what she wants him to bring home for dinner, she tells him chicken breasts. So dad buys and brings home chicken breasts.

Mom stares at them, sitting on the counter, and says, "I don't know what these are. I don't know how to cook them."

So, sister-in-law stepped in and said, I know what to do with them, and helped her cook dinner.

There was also something said about the doctors gave her pills, but she won't take them.

Now, Mom has always been a gourmet cook. If she has reached the point where she cannot recognize chicken breasts or how to cook them, then Dad has been hiding Mom's "memory problems" for quite a while, hasn't he?

I realize that, when Dad would call just to talk, he'd always pass the phone to Mom also, but for the past few years, he wasn't doing that. And the calls from them have gotten fewer and fewer.

My husband's family is well-meaning, but sadly misguided, they all hide anything distressing from each other thinking they are protecting each other. So last summer, we got a call that Uncle R had a terminal brain tumor, it turns out they had known for at least a month, but no one had thought to call hubby. Two days later, while he was still trying to collect his thoughts and feelings and compose an email to his favorite uncle, Uncle R died. Hubby never got to say anything to him. (He lived in Germany now, and came over to visit once a year.)

So I am wondering just how serious, how far along is hubby's mother, should we somehow scrape together the money for plane fare to get him down there asap? Life has taken some really tough turns for us in the past few years, so he hasn't seen her in quite a while. And if his dad is trying to hide her problems, they won't be coming up to visit (all of the rest of the family is up here near each other) anytime soon, or at all.

What do you think? Should I be this worried?