Fix,

I think you've come to the right place, because so many (all?) of us have been where you are and experienced similar feelings and incidents. I think, for some of us that have been through the ringer, part of why we're here is to try to spare others from the same repitition of ordeal, and shorten the learning curve. Things like the Kübler-Ross model, the Vicious Cycle, The Politics of Pain, The Guinea Pig Complex, How to Talk to Doctors About Chronic Pain (and how NOT to), How to Cope, and many many more.

For now (I'm dealing with my own "stuff" right now), keep thinking about those good days, and Hang in There!

Doc