Yes, what Bram said...Please don't beat yourself up over this! Hind sight is always perfect. No way you could have known this would happen. It doesn't make it feel better but to put the money part into perspective, how many people in your surrounding areas would be thrilled to trade places.
It's important to learn when to say "no" and set boundries, but I don't want to see this MONSTER keep you isolated from everything.
I think you were very brave to go, and I think your husband should appreciate your willingness to make the effort.