AZ-Di, I completely get what you mean. I hate the slightest feeling of being a burden too, and of course sometimes it's just there no matter how hard you try - because you DO have a chronic condition and you just can't do everything you would want...

Sorry if any of the following sounds like I think I am some kind of counsellor - I'm just trying to say something that might help!

Sounds like your husband is stressed out and has maybe taken his eye off your situation a little. It happens with my husband too - it's when he gets stressed and worried and feels like the world is on his shoulders that he seems to almost resent my problems. Makes me feel so bad. Cheers for that I doubt he really means to upset you, he's just venting - BUT he needs to realise how hurtful it is to you. I'd wait until he is calmer and then tell him how bad you feel, but that he must try to understand that you have to do these things to treat the CRPS. If you had cancer you would have to go for regular treatment, if you had kidney problems you would go for regular dialysis, if you had an in growing toenail you would go for regular podiatrist appointments. All long-term health issues bring with them regular trips to see medics. He needs to realise that you hate having to go and have them more than anyone!

Has he ever been in the room while you have the procedure? If he has then ask him if he thinks you like having it done. If he hasn't then show him a YouTube video of one being done. Might help him get a little perspective...?

Oh I so know the happy happy joy cheerleader thing! I had exactly that talk with my husband last weekend - why is it always down to me? Why can't you manage to try to remain cheerful when I am feeling bad? It makes me feel so responsible for everyone else's happiness.....yet sometimes I am just trying to find some for myself.

Keep battling on girl. Talk to him and tell him the rants make you feel horrible. Ordering you not to get upset because he'll get mad and won't sleep?! That's not very considerate at all! If things get really bad I occasionally have to remind my husband of the 'sickness and health' part of our marriage - if HE were the one to have got sick, does he not think I would care for him and try to ease his burden? Would I not have tried to hide my frustrations about the difficulties it caused in order to save him from feeling worse than he already did? Normally stops him in his tracks. I think sometimes they just get into a little pit of self-pity and have to be helped out. A bit of flattery, thanks for what they do and a nudge in the direction of guilt and what's right and wrong help us get out of those times.

I really hope you feel better soon, and can keep that appointment. It's important that you go, so try not to feel so bad about it. I'm sure he'll come round again - have you ever read 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'? It's so true it's almost funny He's gone into his cave, but he will come out again...

Remember that this is not your fault and you didn't choose it. You are coping as best you can with everything it throws at you, and personally I think you do pretty darn well girl. Be proud of everything you do despite your CRPS, and we're right behind you

Bram.