Hi friends,

I come here in a very sad and confusing time in my life. Once an athletic, charming and intelligent young man of 21, I now feel stripped of my identity and lost. After receiving a concussion playing rugby September of 2012, i had finally gotten my life back, mostly. After resting what i deemed an appropriate amount of time, i began playing again through the fall of 2012, and spring and summer of 2013. In hindsight, after my initial concussion, playing i always felt an increase in symptoms such as blurred vision, slight dizzyness, although i grew use to it and thought not much it. Now i fear all this time my brain never fully healed and ive been damaging it all along...

Anyways my life was floating along fine, fit as i ever been, doing decent enough in classes, although i went from an A to C student, and more than content with my social standing and friends. In this August of 2013, i was playing in a tournament which consisted of Five games. While admittedly and now regretfully i remember feeling "not quite right" i played the tournament out, as athletically i was a star of the tournament making it to the finals. While not specifically remembering getting hit in the head... playing five games of tackling and contact it must of happened, or perhaps all the little ones added up.

I awoke the next day feeling extreme fatigue, but being with friends managed to climb White face mountain near Lake placid. When i returned home, i awoke the next day to my now living nightmare. Since that day i have dealt with all the physical, cognitive and emotional symptoms you've heard of, and my life has been reduced to the confines of my room and tiny house. I had to withdraw from school, (god willing for just the semester), leave my friends, have not been able to exercise. Seen many a Doctor, tried different therapies. ( Im now in massage, vestibular and trying cst).

Im taking Mega men vitamin, b12, magnesium and fishoil and trying to eat healthy. My back hurts from lack of excercise and depression slowly sucks me away as my once fit body turns pudgy, skin greasy, mind slowed, creativity washed and hope waning.. I have only been at this for a little over a month. God bless all who have been suffering for some time, may your pain ease.

I am scared for my future and that i will never be close to what i once was. I just hope that i can take my girlfriend out to a restaurant someday soon, granted she stay my girlfriend with this shadow of myself, or jog down the street like i took for granted so shortly ago. Google research says this could take 3-6 months, a year or never change as ive read in some posts. I fear i wouldnt make it too long without at the very least losing my mind. Any words of encouragement or anyone who just wants to talk i am more than willing.

Sincerely,
Rj

Go Bills