Oh dear, this turned into a Brampage lol!

In the early days of this I was either angry at fate/life/sods-law/whatever for me getting something so painful and misunderstood. I felt like life had punished me for something I hadn't actually done. When I wasn't angry I was miserable in that way long long periods of pain make you. It was a very dark time, and I don't recommend it...

If I stop and think about it, I suppose the anger side has mostly died over time. It takes a lot of energy, and I couldn't keep wasting it on raging against something like this - in the end you just have to accept the cards you've been dealt and get on with things as best you can. I take satisfaction from every thing I manage to do that is contrary to what my CRPS is trying to make me do (ie lie on the sofa and cry lol). I bet we all feel it occasionally, but more often my most negative feeling with it now is frustration. Sometimes I long to stamp my foot like a little brat!!

The point I'm very badly making is that I think some folk can't stop feeling the anger thing, and maybe it gets them through some days. On a forum like this there are bound to be all types of people, and a few, especially on bad days, can be aggressive and mean. But then the nicest of pets can lash out at you when they have a hurt paw, and we all know the terrible things this pain does to your soul over time. It's a kind of venting I suppose. I'm not excusing it, but I think it's unrealistic, given what we are dealing with, to hope that there is no one out there who has become negative in an angry way about life as a whole.

The business thing is hard. I doubt there are many who haven't had to change their work life in some way - either the hours or the work itself. I had to give up my job, which I was very good at and enjoyed. I was second in command and a vital cog, etc etc lol, and I was gutted to have to walk away and see other people do the things I had had responsibility for. I was lucky to have my degree, and I started doing tutoring, and have built that up over 18 months to a reasonably busy little venture. It gives me something to focus on, and I am even (in a twisted kind of way) almost enjoying the deadline of my tax return looming large on the horizon! I spent 4 hours at the office yesterday getting my accounts ready, and felt almost like a normal working gal again It does wonders for my confidence in other areas of life. But it's not the same. That's the tough thing about CRPS affecting our work - what you do helps to define you, and when that is taken away you feel even more lost. I bet we all hate the inactive times when you just can't get stuff done...

I have to say that personally I have never seen a post on here that makes me think 'ouch that's mean'. But perhaps I've just been lucky It is true about the body language thing - we also have to remember that something might seem mean to us if we are in a fragile emotional state ourselves and take something badly when it wasn't intended. Benefit of the doubt and all that.

This has been a wonderful forum (I've tried a couple before) and I feel so lucky to have made a few cyber-mates that I feel closer to in some ways than friends I've known for years who have drifted away since my life has changed. I can rely on you lot in a way I can't rely on people in my real world. And that means I can take a few cyber bumps and bruises along the way

We are a family here, and every family has the odd spat but absorbs it and carries on the same. I think this family is in pretty good shape and deserves a glass of bubbly and a truffle. Personally, I like to think of myself as a dotty aunt wearing odd socks and giving the children treats when their parents aren't looking The kind of aunt who might have a reasonably serious conversation one minute, but then turn out to secretly be editor in chief of Bondage Monthly or the inventor of thermal pants for dogs.

I've laughed here and cried here, had my attitude about something shifted for the better, and learnt masses. I wouldn't change a thing in case we lost some of the good stuff too

Hugs to everyone who is comfortable with the idea

Bram