Originally Posted by TBI/PTSD

It is so frustrating. I am grateful for you all.

I am thinking very seriously about eliminating cable to just basic local channels. Granted, I will just get the news....the thing I wish to avoid but I won't have the Real Housewives or other mean spirited shows that I continue to watch and get upset about.

As far as yoga goes, I canceled an extra weekend long workshop that I signed up for. I don't go to all the training that people are attending. I will do what I can and see how I do. I have the physical energy but not the mental.

Yesterday I told Trip to the vet to make sure he didn't have an infection from the Pit-bull bites and there were two new "just out of high school looking girls" and I swear they were snickering at me. I almost lost my mind and said something to the . Thank God I didn't.

The other day my neighbor came across the street and was talking to me. I have explained to him and his wife before about my fear of people and sometimes I can't be around them. Well, just in from out of town he came over to tell me about his trip and thank me for watering his flowers. Then he patted my back and I said Zion, I am feeling tortured by having to be out here, I need to go I side. He kept talking. Then he said, what happened? Something terrible happened to you while I was out of town. I said no John, this is my life, this is bipolar. Then he offers support and an ear to talk to-- the last thing in the WORLD I want. I have explained to him time and time again. He just doesn't get it and that is ok. I will continue to stay on lock down. The problem is I washed my car in my drive close to 5pm. John was talking to me, them another neighbor wanted to talk, and another. I just felt like people were coming at me w knives and John kept talking. I got a little rude and took care of myself and went inside. Then I had to pick up the bucket, brushes, sponges.....and John came BACK.


I went to my psychiatrist yesterday and he says I need to act like like everything just fine if I don't want anything back from society, don't reveal anything. To me this is interesting. I have never thought of it. I always say what I am feeling. I am gonna try not to say what is going on. I am going to say everything is just fine.

I am going to go to the new house this weekend, find AA, a yoga class and enjoy the town. books to read, yoga to practice....that is is.

I hope you all have a nice weekend.