Thank you so much, Bryanna. I know I sound like a crazy person, but it's been a VERY long road and I'm just feeling so much pressure (from myself of course) to get this right. I took your suggestion about the pros/cons list and also had a conversation with a friend (in which I heard myself leaning one way) and I think(!) I made a decision to go with dr. new (as you called, and I shall now call him).
It comes down to this: Dr. Old didn't make real eye contact with me during the consult. He stood in back of me (ostensibly to look at xrays) or to my side (while we were talking) and even during the very cursory exam (maybe 30 seconds?) was standing up. He never sat down. I paid quite a bit of money for this consult, so I would expect to be able to get at least 15 minutes of his unhurried time. (dr new spent much more time with me and also a couple of questions by phone on two subsequent occasions.)
Moreover, I felt dr. old rushed me through my questions and was sort of arrogant or dismissive about some of my concerns about antibiotics (I've had major stomach issues in the past) and painkillers (which I don't tolerate well). He also seemed to just take for granted that I would be booking this surgery with him, even though he never gave me an estimate until this morning; he came out to reception while I was paying to give me RX's for the drugs I would need for the immediate post-op, which, while very thorough, seemed strange to me since I told him I was still considering someone else and would wait for his estimate to make an appointment.
As I think I said above somewhere, when his estimate arrived this morning by email, it was more than 30% more than dr. new. Neither of them are exactly cheap, so the extra 30% (almost 35%) is a LOT of money. If I get back the money for the second RCT (which is still a big if), it will not cover even dr new's extraction/bone graft, but it will be less than half of dr old's.. And that's not even taking into account their different estimates for the implants.
Lastly, dr new was just more positive about the procedure in general, foresaw no major issues (though he pointed out that my nerve is very close to the root of the molar) ans seemed to think recovery would be fairly quick. Dr. old, on the other hand, said to expect at least three days of substantial discomfort, and the need for high dosages of painkillers (which, even without the surgery would make me uncomfortable, as I don't deal well with painkillers). I realize that this also may just be a personal style issue, but I was twice as scared leaving his office about the whole thing.
I guess what had/has me most worried was that dr old was too prepared for everything that could go wrong, and dr new was maybe not detailed enough or too casual? dr new didn't really seem to think implants would be a problem, whereas dr old thought there was maybe only 60% chance I would be able to get them. In sum, I guess, Dr. old scared me about the entire procedure and also was sort of dismissive about whatever personal concerns I raised.
I know I sound like Goldilocks: this one was is too old, and this one is too young.
I made an appointment for Tues morning with dr new, as I just didn't get a good feeling from dr old. But I made it for Tues specifically in case I had some sort of epiphany over the weekend, and wanted to change my mind on Monday.
Bryanna, you've been a godsend. Really don't know how I would get through all this without you. Does all this rambling rationalization sound reasonable to you? Or does it sound like superficial way to choose a surgeon? I'm still trying to breathe, but I'm so stressed. I remember going into my first root canal last December trying to booster myself by saying "how bad can it be?/people do this every day" but unfortunately, now i KNOW how bad it can be, and I think that fear is somehow paralyzing.
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Originally Posted by Bryanna
Sadie,
Ok.... please take some deep breaths. You need to calm down because you are pumping out adrenalin like crazy and that will not benefit you in the long run. You become burnt out and then healing will take longer. When we become too over whelmed by the situation, all of the incidentals block our focus and we can't think straight. I know this is difficult and all you really want is to trust someone to take the best care of you... I understand. Let's see if we can help you sort this out.
Each one of these dentists runs their practice differently thus the wait for the estimate from one of them. Secondly their surgical techniques are different thus the variation in the length of time and different meds for IV. All of which is typical from one dentist to another.
If you have had both IV meds in the past with no side effects.... then cross that concern off of your list because you will drive yourself nuts worrying about the what ifs.
The length of time for the extractions is due to the technique that they use to remove them. In certain cases it is best to drill the molar in sections and remove each section one at a time. In other cases this is not advisable due to the individual case.... bone structure.... infection.... de-calcification of the tooth.... etc. Each dentist gave you an approximate time frame...however, they will not know exactly until they start the actual procedure.
Regarding the idea of "carving out" the tooth .... put your mind at ease with this as this is how it is suppose to be done and I am going to assume that each of these dentists will do it that way it's just that the one happen to mention it. All this means is that instead of using brute force to remove the tooth, it is going to be gently teased and eased out of the bone and this is irrelevant as to whether the tooth is drilled in sections or not. Their goal is to remove it with the least amount of trauma as possible.
My personal opinion on the dual DDS/MD degree is simply this...... those who have obtained that dual degree in dentistry wanted to be more than just a tooth carpenter or tooth technician. They wanted to learn the systemic connection and be able to apply this knowledge when taking care of patients. With that said, I know plenty of Oral Surgeons who do not have that dual degree who are excellent "doctors" as well as dentists.
My thoughts in choosing between these two dentists are these....
Dual degree or not.... do they both have update offices and state of the art equipment? I say this because.... dentists who practice in a rut..meaning they never learn beyond their original education therefore they see no reason to update their techniques which is often a reflection in the appearance or cleanliness of their office and equipment. Someone who has held on to the 70's or 80's decor in their office is most likely doing that with their techniques as well. This may seem unfair to be judging them like that ... but it is found to be true more often than not. Don't mistake this for someone having a lavish or over the top expensive office... that is all irrelevant.
The demeanor of the dentists.... were they calm... were they anxious or nervous..... did they seem rushed..... were they gentle during the examination.... did they take the time to sit with you and answer your questions to your satisfaction.....were they interrupted during your visit... did anyone else in the office come in and talk with you about the procedure or the financing?
I am glad that they both concurred with me about the possible fractures of these teeth!!!! Maybe we are all wrong about that... .but at least they are open to the possibility which means they will keep that in mind when removing them.
Sadie, I suggest that you take a piece of paper.... make 2 columns. One for dr old and one for dr new. Jot down all the pros of each .... and then the negatives of each that you can think of. Then read it out loud to yourself. See if helps. You can email that to me if you want.... bryanna007@yahoo.com. You can also email me both of their names and I can see if I can do some research on them for you. I may not be able to come up with anything more than you already have... but I am willing to give it a try.
Take a deep breath....... don't hold it..... let it out with a big sigh...... 
See how better you feel ~'.'~
Bryanna |