I have distanced myself a lot from my husband emotionally because it makes me feel crazy to go along with everything but, I am still very civil to him. I have suggested to him a few more times to get some help, but he won't. I can take care of myself financially and I have a new relationship. Husband is in very bad shape. Cannot remember things and cannot process things very well. I think it's only a matter of time before he loses his job. People keep warning me to divorce before it's too late and I have to take care of him or lose all my financial wealth (not that much to lose!)

Today, he said to me, "your my best friend." I said, "no I'm not." Sounds cruel but I need to be honest. He didn't say anything back to me. He went and laid on his bed for a half hour and then remarked,"that was a mean thing to say." I apologized. (We have not slept in the same bed for 7 years)

When I spend the day with him I end up worn out and depressed and lost because so much of the time consists of clearing up communication bloopers. And he still follows me around even though I've told him not too.

I know it sounds kind of crummy that I have a new relationship, while I'm still here, but it's what works for now. John doesn't pick up on any of it. I had a photo of him and it fell out of my daybook planner onto the floor. John picked it up, looked at it, and asked who it was. I said I didn't know (!) He said nothing and handed it back to me. John knew I had coffee with this guy two years ago, and what he looked like. This is one of many examples of his state of mind.