Two things- one: my neighbors across the street don't get it, won't get it and I am done trying to be nice. I get text messages all day every day about stupid things like "how are you?" " how is Trip?" "How are you feeling?" And on and on. They are very nice people. He is retired and I am sure a bit lonely as his wife still works. They invite me to dinner, I am not comfortable there, Trip can't go, I don't like to be out of my house, or sitting on their patio as he puffs on a cigar, or eating good but very unhealthy food. They invite me out, I don't like to go out. They insist on driving which means I can't take Trip. I m no longer struggling, making myself uncomfortable for other people.

Two: my sister is BPI also. She is very mean when she is having a tough time. She planned my dads birthday last weekend which was real nice and she has never thought outside herself to that extent ever I don't think. It was all to Good to be true because yesterday she sent a punch in the face via email to my mom and I saying it just wasn't worth it, the kids have too much homework, it isn't even on my dads actual birthdate. I think she pulled out because she feels threatened because my mom and I are getting closer and she isn't. my mom and I have always been closer. But he fact that we are going to live together seems to be hard for her.
The way yoga and AA suggests to deal with this is to not suffer and to pray for her. To not suffer, I don't deal with her. It is very painful for my mom and dad too. But. I can't help them, they have to figure it out themselves. I share with them my thoughts on suffering and that if something causes suffering, acknowledge it and don't continue to dabble in it to suffer more. If I keep getting punched in the face with words from her, I am going to stop getting in arms distance of her. It is sad because she has my nieces and my parents grand kids which is driving a wedge in those relationships but I am not the source if the wedge, my sister is.

Am I off base on these? Thanks.