You all just touched my heart with the honesty in which you talked about a subject that is demonized for for us before we even get started. It seems that everyone else is more worried about what we are addicted to then how we are "really" doing.

I started this ordeal with the same mindset that most people are raised to have. The one where pain meds are bad, very very bad. We will be addicts and worse off if we go down that rabbit hole. Well in the first few years I tried everything but narcotics because I feared that rabbit hole.

It finally brought me and the doctor to tears as I would beg him to amputate my leg. Through his tears he would explain that even if the leg were gone, the pain would still be there. I would just look at him like he had rocks in between his ears. Over a period of about 3 years I begged and begged to have the leg amputated, and again and again he would just look at me through his tears, and tell me it would do no good. He would each time suggest trying opoids, and each time I would tell him I did not want to become an addict.

One day, after much thought, and much pain. I decided that we had tried everything else....why not let him prescribe some Norco, or whatever he felt would be necessary I could use to at least take the edge off this pain that I could not control. He gave me MS-Contin, and Norco for the breakthrough pain. I had no idea what he meant about breakthrough pain, but trusted him and his judgment.

The world became much easier, and less painful then I had experienced in a very very long time!! I was actually getting out more, and actually was looking forward to seeing some grandkids. Something that I avoided due to them always causing me more pain then it was worth. Even my wife was enjoying visiting with me....life was good for the first time in a long long time!!

Then I was stricken with a kidney stone!! Oh my a whole new pain, but seriously not as bad as RSD, and that is the truth LOL! But in the ER the very first thing they asked was if I was on any medications......I was, and boy was I! They tore into me! Calling me a drug seeker, addict, and almost everything they could think of, and I was treated differently all of a sudden. They actually put me on a head trip that took me months to shake myself out of. Although, they found an 8 mm stone, and admitted it was a large and painful, they didnt want to add to my addiction, and treated me like I was some sort of escaped felon

It really played on what I believed before RSD, and really messed me up mentally. All that, just to say....once I started not caring what others thought, or what the ER thought, or how I was raised to think, and focused on what actually helped me to feel better. Did I start to not care about all the others and what they thought.

The pain meds were helping me, and that was priority number one. I wasnt going to let some ER folks, or some family and friends talk me into thinking I am a junky, addict, or drug seeker! They dont live in my body, and dont have to deal with what I have to deal with, and it doesnt matter what any of them think of me as long as I know who I am, and that I am not hurting like I did before I decided to try pain medicine that could be addicting.

I have come to realize that we will probably have to be life long medicated people in order to have any kind of semblance of a normal life. Sure I still get the looks in the ER, and I still get the little jabs from well intending family and friends. But I just look at them as the ones that have a problem.....one society has created, and they can believe whatever it is they like, and I can do whatever it is that makes me feel better

Today I do not take the ms-contin anymore because it dulled my thinking waaaay to much. But do take a few norco as needed, and use morphine IR for the breakthrough pain, and that isnt every day either. I am happy, and enjoying my life on the terms that I have been dealt....which isnt ideal in my mind, but better then no life.....which is how it was before pain meds.

So dont let anyone, or anything sway what you do to relieve pain. Let you and your doctor find the things that work best for you. Just know that there is probably nothing that will be 100%, but whatever you do is A-ok, and none of anyone's business as long as your happy