Oh Liza Jane.

I read your post with such interest and such caring. You have been so kind to me and listened when I spoke.

Of course all the others have given you good advice, they know what they are talking about. All I can do is nourish your soul. Send you loving hugs and thoughts and.... what I will suggest is that, because are all stressed out, why not light some beautiful candles, put them around the bathroom, (and if you can get in a tub, get in a tub of hot water and soak), or get in the shower and let the hot water fall over you. Use some lavender soap.

The other day, my girlfriend who is having a horrible marriage and her son is an alcoholic, well she wanted to just end it all. I listened and listened as she was downing a glass of wine. That's how SHE copes with her stress.

I told her "put down the glass of wine, get your candles (she has quite a few), go in and take a hot bath and light the candles and let the glow of the candlelight just soothe you. Breathe in the aroma of the candles.

Close you eyes and let your mind drift off.

She did this and told me it was amazing. Of course she still has the same problems, but now she just goes into that place in her head where she goes "away" for a spell.

Thankfully, you have pain meds which you can take advantage of.

When you come to the right decision (the one that is right FOR YOU), hopefully, you'll share it with us and we can send you much love and hugs .

You are in my heart.

Melody