Hello Rhondaroo. Sorry you have to go through the surgical decision. I was in your place exactly, and risked being paralized too. In my case the doctor didn't really give me much choice in the matter. Do go for a second opinion in any case. If you can get "just" the donor" bone, there is less pain involved. Ask your physician why he wants to do both donor and your own bone. I am fused C3-7 and have donor bone in between all of them with hardware.
If I can help you in any way, let me know. My surgery did work, and it was my second fusion. There can be a good outcome. Keep in touch. ginnie