A lifetime of conditioned responses & behavior patterns are tough to overcome/change.
Have you ever read
Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships by
Eric Berne, M.D. ?
Quote:
In 1964 Berne published Games People Play which, despite having been written for professional therapists, became an enormous bestseller and made Berne famous. The book clearly presented everyday examples of the ways in which human beings are caught up in the games they play. Berne gave these games memorable titles such as "Now I've got you, you son of a [biatch]," "Wooden leg," "Yes, but...," and "Let's you and him fight."
In Berne's explanation of transactions as games, when the transaction is a zero-sum game, (i.e. one must win at the other's expense), the person who benefits from a transaction (wins the game) is referred to as White, and the victim is referred to as Black, corresponding to the pieces in a chess game.
Some of this terminology became a part of the popular American vocabulary.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Be...es_People_Play
|
This is, IMO, another one of those
Knowledge is Power things wherein understanding what's going on in our heads—and why—with interpersonal relationships can help us recognize & cope with some of these conditioned responses/behavior patterns.
FWIW, I consider
Games People Play an "
Everyone Must/Should Read".
YMMV.
Caveat: Your mother may have read
Games People Play herself, and/or be familiar with
transactional analysis (TA to its adherents).
Doc