My son is in the Naval Air Program (electronics), and he's stationed in Washington State. He scheduled to go to Iraq in the fall, and it really ticks me off. His deployments were supposed to be in the South Pacific. He doesn't want to go because he knows a very dear friend of mine has relatives still living there.

When he graduated from high school, we didn't have enough money to send him to college. He couldn't find a job that paid more than the gas money it took to get to and from work.

Joining the military was his ONLY option. For the first 18 years of his life, it was NOT an option to me. When he was born, there were a LOT of males born - it was even mentioned on the news. I was discussing it with someone, and she told me it was because there would be a huge war when the boys reached adulthood - bigger than Viet Nam.

I laughed it off, but it always stuck in my head. Whenever my husband mentioned our son joining the military, I told him ONLY if he could guarantee me our son would not have to kill or be killed in action. We figured if he joined the Navy, he wouldn't have to go to Iraq - it's a DESERT for Pete's sake!

I know I can't protect my son from harm, but I thought I'd be able to keep him from committing murder or intimidating others into murdering him. I was successful in keeping him out of gangs here (not an easy task). I taught him how to communicate to resolve disputes instead of using guns, knives or fists. I taught him not to hate others. I fear he will return from Iraq filled with hatred.

I wish he would have had more options. I wish I would have been able to save more money for his college education. I'm VERY MUCH against this war in Iraq, have been from the start. But when I spoke of what would happen if we invaded Iraq, I was accused of being unpatriotic and having the blood of 911 victims on my hands.

If I have to lose my ONLY child to this war, I fear I may be filled with hatred as well.