LizaJane,
I don't have much to add. I'm pretty much of a dumbbell where it comes to any involved surgical things. But I'm sorry that its come to this. Yup, like someone hit you upside the head with a 2x4 (or mallet). I'd been following the posts about the screws loosening and the healing not going well and was wondering what a solution would be. This is the only solution?
Well, my quadriplegic son had a surgical cage placed in his fractured neck within 24 hrs of the accident last Sept. I've seen the x-rays and it looks just like a wire mesh cage, but it helps support his neck (along with the titanium plates & screws) and also allows for bone regrowth. He has some limited ROM in his neck now, but not severe. (I wish it were true for the rest of his body).
LizaJane, I was glad to hear that David was with you to act as a helping hand, but I hope that you'll take a bit of time to mull this over. Decisions like this are incomprehensibly intense & complex. If you do have this done,(rather - when...) I hope that it is with a group or team, rather than place all your trust in just one surgeon. They all have their specialties, and your case is mighty complex. Lotsa things going on. I think you need to gather a surgical team to help you.
I dunno what else to say, except that I'm sorry you are going thru all this.
Climb under that comforter and watch some old Bogart or Carey Grant movies-(the B&W ones- not colorized)- 'zone out' for a while.
I'm thinking of you.