Hello all,

I've had as many as 18 concussions, most of them happened between my 16th and 20th birthdays. I'm now 22 and I have learned to deal with most of the symptoms that come with PCS, but I still have some lingering questions that are making me toss and turn in bed as of late.

One of the major effects of my PCS was an immediate personality change. It's difficult to describe because I didn't notice until two years later, but I simply was not the same person.

I lost a lot of friends and pushed a great relationship away.

Since then, I've taken a lot of time to rebuild and learn about this foreign personality that's grown on me. It's been an awkward and difficult two years that has brought about many introspective nights, but I've come to a point where I can say that I'm getting the hang of myself and to some extent parts of my old personality have grown back.

However, since I've gotten to that point, I've begun to look back at those years when my personality changed sharply and all of the interactions and points that brought me to where I am today.

Within the period of all of those concussions, I was dealt a major blow that I would likely not play soccer in college. I also was pretty irresponsible with school and work. Most of my friends went away to school, and I was left feeling regretful that I wasn't able to go away.

I'm confused as to whether it was those concussions, or the many issues I was dealing with internally that lead to me losing so many friends and a girlfriend I really cared for.

I've moved on, but I just want to know was it me, or was it concussion-me that lead to the end of all of those great relationships?