Wow Syl. Thank you for sharing so much of your story with us, that is one hell of a life you lead - your mother sounds like an evil person in the true sense of the word, and you are amazing to have done so much with your life despite her appalling efforts to crush your spirit. Sounds like you have the right attitude. I am full of admiration.

You are so right to detach a need for medications that help you to deal with the pain and other symptoms your health throws at you, with a dependence on narcotics. This isn't meant to be a flippant remark but I remember watching an episode of House where Dr House was saying about his dependence on a painkilling drug for his leg. He said that if a certain drug worked on his pain enough for him to function, and continued to work on that pain for many years, did it make him dependent on them? It did, but in a pharmacology kind of way, not because he was 'addicted' to them. He said something like 'am I addicted because I take a pill prescribed to me by my doctor that helps my pain and lets me live? Of course i have taken them for years - I've had the pain for years. I am dependent on them because they are the only thing that lets me function - I do not choose to take them for no reason'. The point is that addiction (as I understand it) is taking a drug for a reason other than what it is prescribed for....like continuing to take it when the need has gone.

I don't think anyone with CRPS should beat themselves up about taking drugs. This is one nasty condition to fight through everyday. Some of us need a lot of help, others can manage on less, but the pain is real, the disability it brings even more so, and if there's a med that can help us claw back a bit of the life we lost, then of course we should take it if we can.

Syl, you are a marvel and should be very proud of yourself. Hope you have a good day today, and a better one tomorrow...

Bram.