Sorry guys, this one's not that chirpy, but today it's how I feel, and writing it helped a bit although it did make me shed the odd tear.

Hope you are all doing ok out there. This one's for you

Bram.

Not My Best Day

If I crane my head a little, I can see a green stand of trees.
I know beyond that lies the town, the rivers, life and such bustle.
My car is crouching on the drive, and sits waiting for my key
Sunshine moves the shadows, and crisply on the lawn leaves rustle.

Autumn now bring chills and draughts, they scare me like a dragon crouched.
My blanket here is soft and warm, comforting like chocolate,
Whispering it's safer here, reassuring me, my dog slouched
Across the other sofa, makes me smile, her happy noises soft.

The tv there is on of course, but nothing on it interests me
Not even real people's lives, but something darker like grey skies
Or that noise behind you in the darkness. It's hard to watch, to see
Life as it could be, as it was, as it might have been had fate smiled.

It's grey now outside. Grey and damp and chilled like the hope it replaces.
It's hard to keep going each day, to smile again and face alone;
To stop that silent scream escaping, teaching those judging faces
About this thing, this pain, this beast, that gnaws upon my very bones

Both day and night. Night and day merge together, tied by pain like wire
Cutting through flesh. Try to explain, see confusion, even boredom there;
See dark the yawning*cloud their eyes behind the sympathetic smile.
They don't see, they can't. Who could? Except you others who know and share.*

You share it all, you see, that pain, the searing tears upon your cheeks.
You know, you see, that black black depth within us where we go to hide
When it is bad, beyond belief of what should be endured. You seek
The same relief, that gasping breath of life again, your eyes wide.

No wonder we all hope and pray and wish for the impossible.
Screens flickering with searches and dreams, fingers touch and burn there,
On keys to keep the link between loneliness and understanding.
A lifeline when being drowned in pain becomes just too much to bear.

I cannot see those pseudonyms, or know their lives and faces true,
But like the air that fills my lungs, I see them in my heart, they hold
My hand in darkness and fight with me against the fear. And the blue
Streak of dawn brings hope of sunlight, warmth at last to chase the cold.

Thank you all.

Brambledog c.2013