Hi Batik,

I'd say you're on the right track with the oils etc. I've had this as well.. along with a host of other autoimmune type things like endometriosis and interstitial cystitis, chronic fatigue syndrome and some kind of weakness I haven't figure out yet.. I think your gyn may be mistaken about the candida, I think it is commonly a factor in this kind of thing, and I'd load up on probiotics and cut out sugars and starches as much as possible fora while to see if it can help.

The vulvodynia is definitely a bummer.. it' been a problem for me to varying degrees since I was a young girl and had had a fall. Things I've noticed that make a difference:

~**a bit graphic here, but hopefully not TMI...** Having a compatible, gentle lover.. perhaps uncircumcised, or at least willing to be gentle for you, willing to increase his own sensitivity.. it seems there is less friction stimulation necessary with men who are uncircumcised. Circumsized men seem to have less sensitivity in lovemaking, I'm guessing because of the exposed glans, and in my experience they want a lot more friction and force. Lots of lube is also very important. Get a good organic one with no carcinogens, sugars, or weird chemical flavourings. Organic coconut oil, or olive oil are great, but stain the sheets :/ There is one I've found called Blossom Organics that seems pretty good but I'd make sure you cleanse it off with a damp cloth afterwards because I've notice an irritation reaction to it if I forget and just go to sleep after love.

~Keeping stress down, meditation, etc, relaxation is so important. There is also a particular form of meditation happening in some larger urban centres called Orgasmic Meditation, or "OM" that you might consider checking out, if you're open to it.. it's kind of "out there" in terms of many people's comfort zones, but worth some thought in my book. The founder of this method, Nicole Daedon, has written a book about it called "Slow Sex" that might also be an informative read. She also has a TEDtalk out there too.

Pleasure is very healing for these tissues, and it is neurological (as well as psychological and emotional!) retraining as well, to orient to pleasure rather than all that stuff (physical as well as emotional) that comes up when one anticipates pain with what is supposed to be pleasurable. We release oxytocin when experiencing pleasure, orgasming or feeling close, so the more of this you can get flowing, the more healing I suspect can happen. So this is why a compatible, gentle and caring partner is so important.. try and choose a guy who is also sensitive for a lover.. but there is a lot you can do on your own too for yourself here.

I wish you loads of luck.. feel free to PM me too!

T