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Newly Joined
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 1
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Newly Joined
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 1
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Testing underway; looks like MS
Hi. This is not my first time in these forums. I grew up with epilepsy and when this was BrainTalk I received so much support.
First an apology - I posted this on another site but did not receive responses. So am trying here as I really need support.
This is not my first time in life with health issues. Epilepsy (since 12, well controlled) a fall down the stairs, broken back, aspiration pneumonia, breast cancer (double mastectomy), two children with serious chronic health problems (the biggest challenge of them all)... None ave been insurmountable.
I'm happy to report, and extremely thankful (!) that I am currently able to work full time, take care of my kids and my wonderful, wonderful dog (single Mom) and to enjoy "the little things"...
But...
I am now going through a full workup for MS. Brain, all spine, blood work.
And the other health "stuff" did not make me "mad" - I was anxious, scared, but swore that none of the "stuff" would ever get the best of me. I still struggle with my one child's serious chronic health issue (anorexia) - it is terrifying.
Why now do I/my kids need to go through another "thing"? That is of course a rhetorical question, and I guess that I am just venting but sure feel the need to do so.
My brother has MS; he was diagnosed 5 years ago. He has had bad periods, and yucky medicines, but overall has been very lucky in terms of his symptoms.
I am finally getting tested... I have resisted it thinking that it would not make a difference. But after tripping, falling, pain, and now serious walking and balance issues, I went to my internist who sent me to a neurologist (I have seen neurologists all my darn life with the seizure disorder) to do a workup.
Saw her last week; she is a calm, nice, practical woman and I am glad to have met her. She was very forthright. She said, after having me do all of the "tests" that my symptoms are not normal at all. I have had years of what I have called "my leg pain" - diagnoseded with 'restless leg', fibro., etc. but this is now of a different intensity and quality. I have fallen/tripped multiple times. I am "wobbly" for lack of a better term, feel like I am going to fall, cannot walk without lurching... am in pain more often than not (it used to be that I would have periods without any problems); cannot walk up or down stairs without extreme efforts - avoid curbs, etc. Hyperreflexia, one side more than the other. I'm scared about mobility.
I was trying to think positively about getting a balance dog (even before the true diagnosis) but right now I could not keep up with the training. I do have a wonderful partner dog who needs very little care at all. Iwas a runner, fit, could bench press my own weight.. and now am unwell.
Tomorrow are 4 MRIS. Next day is ENG and bloodwork. Next week results discussion.
So Im not blind to what may or may not be coming. But just MAD.
I don't know what else to say; I don't like to complain. I don't want to tell my family because of my brother.
I did say something to both kids (teens) - as I learned a lesson in the past. When I found out I had breast cancer, I did not tell them until I needed a full mastectomy. And they felt betrayed/that I had kept a secret. so I just said, "You know I have had my "leg pain", and that I have asked you to help me with things a lot more lately so I saw a doctor and I am going to have some tests". They asked "for what", and I said, it could be something very easy to deal with, like nothing (!) or it could be something that we will just deal with, as we have done in the past. My daughter, who worried that I would die from the breast cancer, said "Will this make you die?" and I said no, I truly don't think so - we will figure this out.
Enough writing - if you have read this thank you...I just don't really want to deal with this - not to whine, just to say "Darn it all!".
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