Welcome KP-

Our lives stories read very similar - epilepsy, broken neck, disabled kid, etc. I hope what I have to offer helps you "exhale" for a small period:

When I was at the testing stage I had a dear friend re-orient me in a way that helped me immensly. She said to me:

Jane, imagine for a moment the doctor just finished telling you "You have MS" What exactly would be different in your life? You would still be like you are right now, not suddenly much worse or much better. The only thing different would be you would have a 'name' for what has been going on. But you would be given the luxury of being able to plan better, be able to fill out all those damn doctor's forms with just two little letters. You would be able to do something about it. Remember you are still the person we all know, you just know have a new diagnosis.

KP I hope you find out what is going on with your health, regardless of whether it is MS or something else. I hope you can do something about it (insurance? medication, etc). Just take it all one moment at a time & keep things in perspective. And... of course it is okay to get mad as hell - after all, it is a club nobody asks to join.

Looking forward to getting to know you better - we are a fairly wonderful family, full of wit and wisdom (and some really bad humor too!)