I don't have a problem with anger; I have a problem with misplaced anger and pigeonholing/stereotyping because they can tend to lead/send us in wrong directions—sometimes to our own detriment.

I thought about spinning a story about a fellow I once met from Australia who deceived me/led me on, finishing with the punchline, "All in all, it will be a cold day in hell before I trust an Aussie again." In fact, I've met quite a few folks from Down Under over the years, and had nothing but good experiences. But I think you get my point. I'd be surprised if there's anyone here on Neurotalk who hasn't had at least one bad experience with doctors (I know I've had my share ), and some have had so many they could be considered "pros".

This perplexes me; I can only speculate. I've changed specialists before, and the only question that came up was whether it was for a 2nd opinion or "change of care" (i.e. changing doctors).

This second neuro obviously didn't want you for a patient for some reason. I have no idea what that reason was/might be.

I don't know if this will suggest anything or not...
A Letter to Patients With Chronic Disease

What I take away from it is that possibly (and again I'm just guessing) your case/condition scared this second neuro. He may have assumed there was nothing he could do for you, so didn't want to take you on. This would definitely discourage—if not depress—me, but I would not let it deter me from seeking/finding a neuro with the interest/knowledge/guts/compassion to take my case on. I went through something similar with both surgeons (for inoperable spine issues) and neuros (for chronic headaches/migraines). I went through a half dozen neuros in ~five years before I found one that actually knew enough about chronic migraines that he could—and did—help me. He was the one whose practice specialized solely in headache/migraines. There may be a neuro that specializes in cases like yours(?) I would think it worth the effort to find, if only to get an ok on the hip surgery. Pain can be an excellent motivator—that's its primary function. I'd also hate for you to suffer any more than you already have needlessly.

Back to anger, I don't know how familiar you are with the Kübler-Ross model (other than my previous link), so please forgive me if you know all this stuff. I know it's helped me—and many other folks here—tremendously to understand this about ourselves—knowledge is power. If you're not familiar with it, I encourage you to read up some more on it (as applied to chronic illness/your own situation) and use it to your own benefit.

There's no schedule or progression to these "stages"; they can come in any order (including 2 or more at the same time), last for any duration (hopefully we progress, but we cannot force it), and we may return to—or go through—some stages 2 or many times. Fun, fun, fun...

Personally, I have trouble with the "acceptance" stage, because like you, I refuse to accept my fate as hopeless (though the articles say that's not what that means) ...and that's not denial either.

Another pattern of chronic illness (chronic pain in particular) I've found it helpful/useful to be aware of in order to recognize and cope/deal with it is the vicious cycle. The vicious cycle invariably involves chronic pain and depression, and other symptoms depending on the individual and their condition(s)/illness (e.g. anxiety, insomnia, isolation, stress, weight control, etc.) Again, knowledge is power.

Doc