You love them deeply. It shows in your writing. Sometimes we take it on ourselves to know what is best for our family. We see them and think....I am the cause of their pain. I will fix that. But we do not have that kind of power. God is the only one who has that kind of power....... He has given some of us skills to help others. And sometimes our power only comes in the face of adversity. The journey from the beginning of life until now is the measure of who we are. I know that you feel dispair now, you have felt it before....and it will come again. That is part of the nature of TBI. Some days, your good.....another day you are not. So very inconsistent the nature of TBI. And yes we feel guilt, for whatever reason....if I hadn't done that....or been there ....or.....now its....I meant to do that....I forgot....I put it somewhere....I forgot...We feel the need to ask for forgiveness. I know its not a disease. But the calmanation of all the aftermath is stifuling. Don't let this inner sadness take you away from your family any further. It is their building block, their journey. Their life experience that shapes them. Only in the face of adversity do we grow our faith, our strength, and our love. We take each day as it comes. We learn all the while they are learning. Write down your feelings day to day. Keep a journal, or a scribble. Dont worry about your spelling or math. I don't know the extent of your injury. But keep your family near you. We are sometimes humbled in life to teach others to rise above. We don't know what is in store for them in life (let alone our selves) Don't take any part of yourself away from them. Give them the miracle of faith. Please respond to me if you are able. I have dealt with this a long time now, maybe I can help. I know we (you and I)can pray. Caroljean