I don’t know how you do it mommystime2 if you have grandbabies at home with you. They are so precious, but I have to have someone here with me when mine comes over to spend time with us. There is a tremendous amount of guilt for me that I can’t be the Momma Rae, or Mom that I want to be... that I used to be.

My youngest child (11 y/o) is such a challenge and has been since she was a baby. Say black, and without a doubt she will say white. I’m (for the most part) pretty tough, and she makes me rise to the occasion everyday to meet her with that same stubbornness to keep her moving in the right direction. With CRPS this challenge is exhausting. It would be exhausting without CRPS too. I love my daughter, however she is forever working my last nerve.

After I wrote this thread last night, I went on to cook dinner. When finished I sat down in the living room to watch a TV show. When I was finished, it took several minutes for me and my husband to get me out of the chair. Then to walk to the stairs and then up the stairs was pathetic. My legs (my arms too but not as bad) refuse to work/move as my mind is instructing. They become dead weight and feel like noodles. When I got to the base of the stairs, all I could do was look up at the mountain I had to climb to get to my bed, and cry. My husband puts the walker in place at the top of the stairs, and comes back to walk each step behind me. At points literally standing behind me giving support and lift for the next step. It’s maddening that in those moments I just can’t will myself to move. <sigh>

This morning is better, but my ankles hurt like crazy from the residual of the day before. Now I will go put myself in front of my desk and once again try to getting things done. Inevitably by noon I will need a nap before the rituals of the afternoon and evening begin.

Thanks again for letting me vent. That seems like all I am doing on here lately. I can’t seem to find the time to participate properly and try to be more supportive of others on here. Surely at some point that will change.