SloRian, I couldn’t agree more that others are clueless. It remains invisible to others until I start tremoring, or simply cannot walk. Oh Wow SloRian… My heart goes out to you with your situation with your children. My oldest child was very sick when he was young. I basically lived in the hospital with him. I know what kind of energy it takes and I really do feel for your situation. And yes, your friend made a classic, clueless statement. I too love all the comparisons others make to my situation. When they’re done I say to myself “really?” and just go on about my day. Oh yes, paper plates are a definite help. So Sorry that you’ve got a sinus infection to boot. Ug! I hope you’re feeling better real soon!

Bram, you couldn’t be more right on. I was thinking to myself yesterday that all the stress that is at my desk is making me more symptomatic for sure. It reminds me of why I am trying to close that chapter of my life. And yet, it is also stressful when the bills keep rolling in and I use to have a way to contribute greatly to our finances. <sigh> Living without my income is hard and stressful. I know I am not alone with this. Many of us, if not all of us have had to endure the financial strain of our disease. I still have customers, new and old, who want me to do work for them. We need the money, and yet I am forced to say no. Flattered and P’d off at the same time.

Pacing hu?! Yeah… sure.. no problem. I bet you had a few things to say about that. I try (like I'm sure you do) and pace myself, but it’s damn near impossible. More often than not I just keep going until I drop. I do have to admit that there are days when I wake and do absolutely nothing. It’s like I am saying, not today… no increased pain today, tomorrow’s another day. I don’t do this often, but I do, do it.

Awe… courageous, that’s a compliment, thank you! Again you’re right; this project would have tested me in my pre-CRPS self. Now it’s just dead weight.

From time to time I do ask the older children for help, sometimes I straight up demand it lol. I ask for all kinds of things like grabbing kids from school, or dishes, or yard work, a run to the grocery store, you name it. I try and find balance with those requests. Whether I like it or not, they are busy too. School and jobs (the older two at home). I don’t ask as much as I need it because I guess I don’t want them to resent me. Besides I end up with a teenage result. Gosh I’ve tried to embrace that too. Saying, “Vrae, it’s good enough, it’s done, be happy with that, no matter how you could have done it better”. Lol

I will do just that when this project is all done (get some rest and recoop). You’re SO sweet! My plan is to catch my breath for sure, for sure. I have to admit that right now it just feels like the intangible goal. I will try not to let them grind me down.

So here I go….. Let the day begin. Thank you so much for your responses. What would I do without all of you? That would truly be a lonely place. I hope that you all have a good day!