LadyM,

It sounds like a classic case of personality change due to brain injury. I suffered a bad concussion at 10 years old. My mother told my wife a few years ago that after that concussion, I was not her sweet little boy any more.

As I look back at my life, I can see how I have struggled and caused struggles and pain for my family.

It is possible for him to tolerate this better. If a professional can help him fully understand the organic nature of this, he can choose to take steps to work against his own physiology. I had to realize that my intense feeling that I deserved to be able to respond the way I was responding was wrong. I was not entitled to be angry or loud. It was my brain misbehaving.

I actually carry a piece of paper in my wallet that says I have a tendency to get loud when confronted. I use it to get assistance at airports and other intense situations.

Another symptom of an injury like he suffered is called rigidity of thought. It is like stubbornness but is more physiological than behavioral. He may lock onto a small detail with an obsessive style. He may lock onto a sense that he is right and nobody is going to change that fact.

If he can get the help to understand his condition, he can then learn to defer to you or others that understand his condition when he messes up. My wife will gently touch my arm or hand to pull my focus back to something more acceptable. She can tell when I am getting close to crossing the line.

If you would like, send me a Private Message or email and I can put you in touch with her.