This was on my hard drive when I changed computers. Mustabeen magic. This is from five years ago. Enjoy and add your own.

Author Topic: Horse walks into a bar...
Old brain?Member
?
bartender says: Why the long face?


moose53?Member
...This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"

Scientist Bill?Member
Panda walks into a bar and orders a meal.?Finishes the meal, pulls out a gun, fires into the air, and walks out. As he is about to leave, the bartender shouts at him: "What was that all about?!". Panda turns and says: "Look it up." Bartender races to the dictionary and looks up Panda, and finds:
"Black and white bear indigenous to China. Eats shoots and leaves."



Giraffe?Member
A man and his giraffe friend go into a pub, and walk up to the bar.
The man orders a pint of beer for himself and a root beer for the giraffe. The man drinks his beer socialising a bit and the giraffe knocks down the root beer.
The evening still being young, the man orders another pint for himself and a double root beer for the giraffe.
The giraffe knocks back the double suds and waits for the man to rather more slowly finish his pint.
The evening is wearing on and it's a long walk home, so the man orders a half pint of beer and a quadruple root beer for the giraffe. Playing darts now, The giraffe downs the root beer and the man drinks his beer.
One for the road the man says, another pint for me and a BIG root beer for the giraffe please.
Drinking the final root beer.....Urp.....
The giraffe feels full & tired, & starts to sway.
Swaying left, then right....the giraffe suddenly hits the floor, nose first.
The man bids all goodnight and puts on his hat and coat and makes his way to the door. At which point the barman says, "Hey you can't leave that lyin' there!"
"Don't be Weeee-diculous" says the man, "thats not a lion.....
........its a giraffe" ?
LOLOLOLOLOL.........
I amuse myself, I really do.


DiannaDL?Member
This duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"
The bartender says no, and the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender again says no, and the duck leaves.
Two days later the duck returns walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"
The bartender, losing his patience, screams at the duck, "I told you duck, I don't have any grapes and if you ask me again I will nail your feet to the floor!!"
The duck looked startled and leaves.
Two days later the duck returns walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any nails?"
The bartender replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"


MikeBCda?Member
OMG, look -- it's Son of Comic Relief. ?
Back to topic ...
This termite walks/flies/whatever into a bar and finds a comfy stool. Says to the fellow on the next stool, "Where's the bar tender?"

Giraffe?Member
A cowboy walks into a bar...... ?
.... with 2 steer.......
The bartender tells him there are NO animals allowed in the bar, so the cowboy leaves and goes down the street to buy his beer.
after drinking three or four, he forgets the animal rule....
and heads back to the bar.
The bartender yells across the room:
"Hey, I told you there are NO animals allowed in this bar."
Meanwhile the steer are tripping over the chairs, so the bartender starts shooing them out with his apron....
"SHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO"........
"GIT"
"Move out.....Get along little doggie".......
The cowboy......totally cornfused by now....
Leaves and comes back with a dachschund. ?
Get it.....???
Get a long little doggie.......
Giraffe......off to do chores cause I obviously have waay too much time on my hands today.

Female Hank?Member
Giraffe,?I thought it said shooting them with the apron. My husband wanted to know if it was semi-automatic or revolver.