Susanne, I started crying as I read your post, because I don't want to know that this is permanent. I won't be able to deal with that.
Not at 30. While everyone I know is off getting married, buying houses and having kids, I am suffering and barely surviving. I truly don't want to get out of bed anymore. For what ?

Smoking is my only vice, really. I don't know what to do with myself otherwise. I live alone, and am very high strung. I don't drink alcohol or smoke pot. I don't have a husband or children, or a career, or pets. I have nothing, really..

Things are looking grim. I'm moving into a small apartment this month also. I'm on welfare and work part time cleaning.

I am hypoglycemic so I have to have sugar often. I studied nutrition for two years so I know all about food. I'm finding that one of my meds is making me only want to eat carbs and sugars. Amitryptaline. Dinner foods don't interest me and actually turn my stomach.

Anyway I don't think I'll win the battle for more pain meds. I just don't. I brought my dad in with me and it didn't change anything.
I've tried or am taking every other medication for this like lyrica, elavil, cymbalta..

I'm feeling like I've had enough of fighting at this point.
October always makes me feel like this.