Thanks Ginnie. I do feel like I lost a child and that I will always miss him and be sad he's gone. Even though I have to live without him now, I can never forget him. He was a huge part of my life and I still feel him near me. He made me feel that I was okay as a person even though I wasn't perfect. He didn't critisize my imperfections or judge me. He just loved me and I loved him back. When the time came when I had to put him down, the vet asked me if I would like to leave before they did it. I said that my dog would have stayed with me until the end and that I would do the same for him. I stayed with him holding his head in my hands and stroking him and telling him how much I loved him as they sedated him and then euthenized him. Then his little head gently slipped out of my hands onto the vet table and his eyes, though still opened, were lifeless. At that moment I knew he was gone. The vet checked his his heart to confirm that he was gone. He went peacefully and quickly because his heart was so weak. I cried and hugged him and felt like I would be sick. I lost ten pounds in two weeks after that because I couldn't eat. I had him cremated and his ashes are next to me on my nightstand along with his leash and collar and tags and harness and his favorite balls and stuffed toys. His pictures are all over and I have some of his fur as a keepsake. It's really hard to be without him and I will never stop missing him, but hope we will be together again some day with all of our loved ones in a better place. Until then I take care of my other furry babies who need me. I think it's great that you rescued animals too. Your kitten sounds so cute. I'd love to see pictures if that's okay with you. If I can figure out how to put more pictures up, I will try to put my sheltie picture up too. His name was Coby and he was beautiful inside and out. Thanks again for your kind and understanding words. I'm here too if you ever need a friend.