Also, now that I took a break from the Fear Thread, last night I had those "thoughts" that I don't want to have about what to do when the pain gets so bad and there's nothing that can be done for it. I feel so bad having these thoughts but I did. And then I started thinking about not wanting extra measures taken when I get to the point when this is too much to bear. I think I'm going to keep that in my living will, but want to try everything I can to avoid those "thoughts". Last night it was extremely difficult not to think of them. But I tried to think of my son and husband and how much I still want to do. I want to be with them as long as possible, but when I'm at the pain level I was in last night, I just wanted to make it go away and started thinking of things to do that like jumping off a bridge. I wouldn't really do that, but the thought was there. I don't want to be a downer, but I just need to vent again. Thanks again for listening.