A friend of mine who i ride with is a nationally ranked triathlete. He is an absolute monster athlete and a kind soul. He can ride 25 miles in one hour on a time trial course. That is insane. He says people ask me why I do this? Why i train through pain? (I smile at this bc he has zilch idea that my spinal cord is about as safe as Syria). But his answer is familiar. Because I can. It's why i go to work. Why i get in the exercise bike and sustain a hr of 170 for 30 min while my calves start frying. Why i do everything my body lets me. But it has costs - this relentless fight. My personality hardened, but really when you live a life this intense it's your choice. Where you're running up Omaha beach and your taking fire every day. I'm reading a book about Polio and FDR now. He hid his disability from public very well "the grand deception". Been there doing that!!!

I need a new icon- think Navy Seal going in for the kill. Ultra intense. Neither happy not sad. Just focused. One day at a time. Don't quit - you can't. Thank goodness for rap - I'm as white as paper but that sense of oppression and dealing with it communicated in that genre - it keeps me in the fight.