Hi AZ-Di, I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I felt that way last night when my husband and I were stressing about finances. It seemed to happen at a time when I was having a really bad rsd flare. I was having alot of pain and I wasn't due for my pain meds for two more hours. I usually take them every six hours and can deal with the pain, but sometimes like yesterday it wasn't enough. The stress from the pain and finances and my great aunt being sick made me want to curl up in a ball and just disappear. I had those thoughts I sometimes have of imagining my life ending because of the misery I was in and how I felt that I was just letting my family down. But then the pain finally subsided and those thoughts passed. Just like Vrae said. It was also what Tessa told me yesterday and Kevscar sent me a link for helping to cope at these hard times too. I texted here for help and support and as always, I got it. Tessa and Kevscar helped me get through as well as all the rest of you when I've needed it. I forget that it will pass when I'm going through the hard times, but it does. I have gained alot of weight since I've been sick, but am trying to lose weight again. As for men flirting or making comments to pretty girls, I think their almost all like that. I don't like it either, but it's what they do. It bugs me too when my husband does that, but I know he loves me so I don't take it personally. I don't think you should take it personally either. Like I said, I think it's just guy thing.
I know how hard it is to want to live when your life has been turned upside down from rsd, and I have moments when I feel the same way. But when those moments pass, I feel like I want to live and keep trying. I hope you keep trying too and try to hang in there. This too shall pass, it's true and we need you on this forum to help keep us going too.
Try to ride it out. It will be okay, not like it used to be, but okay in a new way. We're here for you like you've always been for us. You're not alone, so keep on trying to live to the fullest. I hope you feel better soon. Take care my friend. From your friend, Renee.
PS - You are not worthless! We need you and so does your family so hang in there!