Originally Posted by RSD RENEE

Very nice post Tessa. It helped me alot too. I didn't know that you used to have some of the negative feelings that I have felt. The difference is that you turned them into a positive, where I am still stuck in negative mode. I've always been more of a pessimist, where my husband is more of the optomist. He's alot like you. He's always telling me to be more positive and make the most out of each day. I know I need to try harder or I will wither away in self pity. I used to be a person who believed life was precious until things got tough, like with my RSD, then I changed my point of view. I didn't want to think it was worth living if it meant I would have to live with this horrific debilitating pain everyday of my life. I know I flip flop alot with this issue, and have started to notice I do that when my pain level changes. When my pain level is lower I'm more positive and see life as a precious thing. When my pain level is really high, I start thinking that it would be better to end the pain then live with it because it's so unbearable. But then when the pain lessens again, I feel that I want to enjoy life to the best of my ability and live as long as I can with my loved ones and friends. RSD and other chronic pain causes quite the roller coaster ride not only with our bodies physically but also with our minds mentally. It's just one more spectrum to this disease I am starting to realize. I know I want to live and I want us all to fight to live to the best of our abilities. I know we are not worthless and we can contribute good things to this world no matter how big or small. We are contributing to each other by supporting each other through this chronic disease journey. I'm not as in as much pain today so my outlook on life is more positive. Next time I have a bad pain day I may change my mind again and say otherwise. But I'm going to write down things you've all said like "This too shall pass" and "Don't borrow trouble" and "That you've gotten through this before", to remind me that I can endure this and get through it again if I just don't give up. Maybe this will help me not be so negative the next time I have a bad pain day. I want to try to live life to the fullest and to try to help others be happy and do the same. I was confused at how I've been flip flopping about pro choice and pro life. I think I know now why. It's because of this rsd roller coaster ride. I think talking to all of you opened my eyes to that. I've felt for most of my life that life was precious and we should always value it. It seems that during the tough times like right now with this rsd, that I start to flip flop. I was told once that it's easy to have faith when things are easy, it's when things are tough and your faith is truly tested, that you find out how strong your it really is. So I'm going to try to keep the faith in good times and tough times that life if worth living and cherishing. And I'm going to try to help all of you to feel the same way. We are NOT worthless. We are survivors. We are here to help others to survive. We are here to share our wisdom and courage and strength and friendship. But most importantly we are here for each other to share our love. We can do that whether we are in pain or not. Love never dies. Not even chronic conditions can kill our spirit. It may take away our ability to function the way we used to, but it can never take away our ability to love and to care for others and to carry on. I hope a cure will be found someday, but in the meantime, I hope we can all remember how important we are to the people we love in this world. And how we should love ourselves too like Tessa said. RSD or any other chronic condition cannot take that away from us if we don't let it. It's taken enough, but it can't take our will to live, love and laugh. I hope you all have a peaceful night with happy thoughts of what tomorrow may bring. From your fellow rsd friend, Renee.