Thanks for your caring and helpful words Bram. I didn't have any rsd flares last night and actually slept through the night without waking up in pain. I feel much more rested today. My great aunt is still sick and my husband and I are going to try to see her tonight. I am trying to be positive that she will get better, but it's hard. My emotions are all over the place between my great aunt being sick and my illness. I am trying to get my head together and stay calm and positive through it all, but it's hard. Then there's the finances. My husband and I were starting to plan our retirement before I got rsd. We didn't plan for something like rsd to come along and mess all our plans and finances up. Now we are just trying to keep sane while paying little by little the mountain of bills we have. My husband has good insurance thank goodness, but when someone has a chronic illness, even good insurance isn't enough. You need to win the lottery or something like that to be able to keep on top of all the medical bills. It's strained our marriage and I feel terrible guilt about this. And we can't help our son out as much as we wanted to now because there's nothing left to give financially. I'm afraid my poor husband will have to work forever and I feel so guilty again. But my husband and son both try to let me know that we will get through this as a family one day at a time. I know that sticking together is most important and that we keep loving each other. I used to talk to my great aunt every day. She is so special. She taught me so much about life. She would tell me that we need to be grateful for what we have not what we want and that even though life was hard at times, we had to accept whatever came our way and to handle it with grace. I'm trying to keep those words of wisdom in my head so that I don't fall apart. And the kindness and support I've gotten from all of you is priceless. I know we have never met, but I feel like I've known all of you forever. And I consider all of you part of my family because you've been an important part of my life.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time too. I wish I could help all of you get through your tough times and take all of your pain and stress go away. All I can do is let you know that I understand and that I am here for you if you ever need to talk or need a shoulder to cry on. I think the word you used to describe this rsd journey we are on hit the nail right on the head. You once said it was exhausting. I totally agree. Exhausting to be in pain all the time is the perfect word to me. I am exhausted as I think we all are, but here we are getting through another day together. I'm glad we are friends and have each other to get through another day together. I look forward to talking to you each day.
Thanks again for all of your kindness and I hope you all have a good day with as little pain as possible. From your rsd friend, Renee.