Hi. I am Lisa and I am new here. I developed RSD in my left leg two years ago and it went away after eight lumbar sympathetic blocks. In September of this year, I began seeing my orthopaedic surgeon who has performed surgery on both of my knees since 2003. I had twisted my right knee in late July and the pain was not going away. I was reluctant to see my ortho as he had previously informed me that eventually I would need total knee replacements. I have been using a crutch (sometimes two) since October. My ortho put me through tests, physical therapy, more tests and steroid injections. In January he referred me to the pain center and suggested I had RSD again. I was floored! I didn't know that RSD could come back and that it could be on a different part of the body. And if he knew, why did wait so long to fill me in? Sure enough, RSD again. This time it is much worse for me. Ten blocks and no break in the cycle. I just had RF ablation on Wednesday and my pain is worse. I have a supportive family (as best as they can be). I feel rotten about what they have to go through because of me. I can't tell them how bad things really are, I don't see how they could handle that when I can't really handle it. My mom is great and is my best friend, so I try to protect her. My husband sometimes suggests that I try to "blow it off" (regarding the pain), so I don't tell him that the pain is so bad that when I am in bed I am begging to fall asleep and that when I wake up, I am severely disappointed because I realize that I have to live another day like this. That is very selfish of me, I know. I feel so two-faced, giving them my fake smiles all of the time and holding back my tears until I am in the shower.

After reading all of your stories, I feel like I am just a big baby for acting and thinking this way, considering what you all have endured. I also have bipolar which for the most part is well-controlled on meds, but sometimes it feels like the depression wants to take over. How do you all do it?