I am sending that hug too. I am sorry the depression is bad. This is the right place to be when you need help and understanding.
I do know that distraction, even for a few minutes helps. If I find myself going down that path, I make myself do something, anything, to take my mind off my problems. This method has helped me. Even if it is some small project, clean out a dresser, go through a closet, any activity at all, helps those black moods.
I hope you have support with friends. I am here to listen anytime. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. ginnie