I learned long ago (1995) that changes in diet and exercise are best taken slowly. And do it with no expectations of results . . . just do it. Make it a habit. I also learned around that same time that it takes 6 weeks to break an old habit and 8 weeks to make a new one . . . hence that time frame where people abandon trying! It feels like you are hanging by a thread during that netherworld of habit training!

I was rather overweight and out of shape when I decided to climb a mountain in 1994. I had been going to the gym pretty regularly, but was not really working it . . . hadn't broken sweat much. But once I knew I was going to stress my body carrying a heavy backpack up and down on rocks and ice, I realized I needed to work to strengthen some muscles in my hips, legs and back, as well as heart and lungs. My exercise had now become training for an event instead of trying to slim down, or even just generically "get healthier." I found it invaluable to have a goal requiring hard work in order to succeed.

I did not summit Mt. Rainier in '95, but I came really close, climbing to 12,500'. Weather turned us around, but even if it had been perfect conditions, I was a slower climber than I thought I would be, and knew I would need more time and an earlier start to do it if I ever attempted to climb it again. The winter of 2001 I went back to the gym to get back into shape to try again . . . but quit when I began having deep hip pain. I later found out that pain was from a colon that was rapidly becoming inflamed . . . and would begin my spiral downward into surgeries and disability. It is very likely my TM came from the inflammation I dealt with during that time and the horrible invasive surgeries that ensued. Ah, poo . . . no pun intended.

I have been "there" once -- to the land of fitness and movement. I know it can be done. Easy to recount my tale, but these days I am discouraged beyond belief. I totally understand how discouraged my MS and TM friends are, because I am there. I love that I did what I did when I could . . . but I sure do miss that body. Sometimes it is harder to be less able when you came from a place of very able.

I used to say "pain is just weakness leaving your body" when the pains I experienced then were those good aches brought on by hard work. Not so much anymore, especially when there is no relief and no escape. The physical pain wears on you . . . but I am finding the emotional pain of depression from this physical pain is getting to be unbearable.