I understand about the faith part believe me. My husband is accepting it better. He loves and cares about me so much. He's so scared of losing me, it makes him so mad at everything around him. He wants to be my hero,and I love him so much for that. If he could understand how safe he's always made and still makes me feel safe. I think it's harder to watch my family go through this then it is accepting what I'm going through. I love them all so dearly. It's so hard not to expect the worst. I'm on so many pills and I haven't even had the surgery yet. Sometimes I get so mad at everything around me,then I I get really ticked at myself,even though I know I have no control over it and knowing that even makes me madder. This just bites all the way around .....