hey Lisa,

Welcome. As the others have said you are NOT a "big baby". (unless, of course, you particularly enjoy wearing diapers, being bottle fed, and have a wonderful pink babygrow? and maybe a bow in your hair?), but seriously, you are not.

As you know, having dealt with this before, this disease is really REALLY horrible!

I was 16 when I developed RSD after a fall and I am now 21 and in university. The only way I have been able to manage to live with my pain is through two facedness. There are few 21year olds whose aim is to make friends with people in pain!! but, as a two faced person, who can hide pain to some degree, I have awesome mates who are starting to understand me behind and through the pain and are wonderfully supportive. For me, the opportunity to switch from pain to happy face is a coping mechanism. I have missed out on so much since I was 16 - with the development of happy face I can join in more, avoid pity and try to get on with my life as best as possible. Best friends will do anything for you and they will be willing to take on any of the pain you choose to share (something I have slowly learnt - but I hate discussing my RSD with non RSDers because they never get it and I have been scared to burden others with the RSD parts of my life - which is why neurotalk gets a bashing from me most days). My family are very supportive - but were actually the reason I started two facing - about 4 or 5 months in to me having RSD mum decided if we were going to live with this as a family then I would have to learn to not scream at night, or cry or call anyone else in to sit with me. It was one of the hardest things she felt she did, but I really thank her for it now. (My best friend still comes and sits with me - but it's impossible to get him out of my room if he thinks my pains bad! - he's feeling sorry for himself for having stayed up 3 nights in a row - but won't listen when I try to force him to go to bed).

Anyway - if that is how you deal with your pain, sweetie, then that is how you deal with it!!!! There are very few right or wrongs in PM.

Some pain killers can cause a depletion of seretonin chemicals so lead to more depression - so that might not be helping with the depression!

Love and hugs

Froggsy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

How do we do it? Well, whatever we went through today, it might be different tomorrow.