Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark in Idaho
Other than your head aches, you can change some direction and make your life look far more hopeful. I mentioned tutoring. It can be in a serene environment. It can also be very rewarding as you help students who need a simpler learning environment.
And.... Ask your doctor about your symptoms of depression. I was started on Celexa 2 weeks ago. The change has been unbelievable. My frustration levels were extreme. Now, I have hope again. My mind is creative again.
When I was in college, I was a pre-dentistry major. I crashed academically my second semester. My faculty adviser suggested I look critically at my chances to complete my major and get admitted to Dental School. I chose to find a new direction. I am glad I did. I would have been over-stressed as a dentist.
My best to you.
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As usual, you are right, Mark. I guess a part of me just isn't ready to give up on being back in a classroom full time, because that's where I feel like I'm home. I got burnt out on my last teaching job due to some unrealistic expectations that were being put on our shoulders as teachers and a rapidly dropping morale, but I haven't lost my passion for education. I am doing some tutoring in the afternoons right now in the system where I sub. It's just that it's exhausting to do that after subbing all day... makes my work day 7 am to 6 pm, and this form of tutoring is not one-on-one... it's working with a group of at-risk 6th graders who are tired and sick of school, since they have been in classrooms all day. So from 7 am to 3 pm I'm dealing with a situation where I hardly ever know what to expect from one period to the next (especially since I tend to have to crack down to force the kids to not treat me the way they tend to treat subs) and then go into the tutoring thing... it's not ideal for healing, but I have no sick time, since neither job is full time, and neither one pays enough to where I can quit the other. Even if I do both every day, we barely scrape by, and either way I'm ready to pass out by the time I get home at 6:30. If I could break away from the subbing long enough to build my tutoring clientele enough to make ends meet, I'd be game... not sure that would happen though.
I had problems with depression even before my concussion. In fact, the night the concussion happened, it only happened because I drank too much (not something I'm proud of nor something I do very often... usually I only drink on special occasions, and even then it's only one or two drinks, but that night I just needed a release from my dark emotions revolving around everything else and had a perfect excuse since I was at a party).
It's going to be hard to let go of the idea of teaching again anyway... I did that for seven years before my job got cut at my old school. On one hand, I'm fearful that I would fall victim to the same type of treatment again, but on the other hand, I want so badly to make a full comeback from the royal screwing that I felt like I got in that situation, and now this head injury may keep that from happening. It's just a bit hard to swallow.